The weirdest part about being chronically ill is that I’m the strongest when I’m sick. I have Crohn’s Disease, an illness that sticks with me for the rest of my life as it affects my gastrointestinal system. There’s no cure, just ways to manage the pain and symptoms.

I only got diagnosed in March of 2025, but before that I struggled with finding answers and getting help. It makes sense doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong, when blood labs kept coming back normal it was easy to chalk up the pain I was feeling to just a weak stomach from stress. But one day, I couldn’t bear the pain and asked my parents to take me to the emergency room, because it was ridiculous how much it hurt to no avail.

The diagnosis after a week in the hospital threw my whole world off its axis. The thing about me is I love to plan. I use more than one planner, and have specific highlighters and pens for corresponding activities.

I didn’t have a plan for any of this, and that’s what scared me the most. How could I just casually accept this and go back to living life like normal? I couldn’t. Because now I had to go to two-hour long infusion treatments to manage my illness every eight weeks.

But I persevered and my light blue pens and highlights were used when marking down when I had my treatments. And for a while, it was working fine.

I hated the treatments, but they helped. They were tedious and time-consuming, and I think there was only one time I didn’t cry during it. It’s a little embarrassing, but I really hated everything about them.

I remember hoping that something would change, even though the thing about a chronic illness is that it never goes away. But then, in some weird twisted way, my wish was delivered.

My body started fighting against the treatment, producing antibodies against it. Which meant I’d have to pivot, and get different treatment. And yet again, my world was completely upset by chronic illness.

However, this time I didn’t feel so bad. I actually handled everything pretty well considering it felt like my body was fighting against itself every day. It was my approach that made the difference.

After last time, I started to take my life one day at a time. I can’t plan everything that happens because of my chronic illness, but I can choose how I react to it. And I’m choosing to be okay with going with the flow.

Not everything has to be planned out with perfect color coding, I know that now because my chronic illness freed me from being meticulous about scheduling and planning. I still love to plan out my days with my highlighters and pens, but I’ve also learned to take it slow, too.

I’ve learned to be okay with changing my schedule around, and penciling things in instead of making everything so permanent with colored ink. My chronic illness has brought me lots of pain, but also lots of growth. So really, I’m thankful for my chronic illness – it taught me to adapt to the current.