My name is Ellie, and I have seven days left of high school. Four years ago, I walked into a new chapter of my life with a lot of ideas about what I thought it would be like, most of which turned out to be wrong. As I get ready for my last week at DGS, I keep thinking about how differently I see things as a senior compared to when I first walked in.

Now, I want to tell you the truth, from somebody who’s been through it all. From friendships that change in ways you don’t see coming, to trying to stay true to yourself while also trying to fit in, to realizing how much of high school is balancing who you are with who you think you’re supposed to be—most of it is just figuring it out as you go. These are seven things I wish I had known sooner, the advice nobody really says out loud and the parts of high school that only make sense when you’re already on your way out.

Popularity isn’t everything.

The summer after eighth grade, I was obsessed with “reinventing” myself in preparation for freshman year. I remember watching YouTube videos about how to survive high school, with advice on what I needed to do to fit in and how to be cooler and more likable. But looking back, I realize that fulfillment comes from making real, meaningful connections with people who truly see you.

What no one tells you is that you will thank yourself later on in life for finding friends who accept you for who you are, not for who you’re trying to be.

PS: Nobody in adulthood asks what your social ranking was at 16.

It’s never too early to start preparing for college.

It’s the annoying truth, but I seriously missed the memo that college applications would be so intense. Getting a head start on volunteer hours can make a real difference and shows colleges you weren’t just scrambling to meet senior year deadlines. If I could go back, I would start visiting colleges earlier and researching options from freshman year instead of cramming.

Get involved, reach out for guidance and actually show up to those after-school club meetings. Find something you’re good at, seek out leadership opportunities and build experiences that mean something to you. Application season comes faster than you think, and it helps to give yourself time to build something you’re genuinely proud of.

PS: You don’t need to do everything, just start earlier than you think you need to.

Growth happens outside your comfort zone.

High school pushed me to become a more confident leader, something I never would’ve imagined for myself as a freshman. Getting involved in activities like Snowball and Mad Dash forced me to speak up and put myself in situations I would’ve usually avoided. Over time, even things like raising my hand or speaking in front of the class stopped feeling as overwhelming as they once did.

I learned that it’s okay to think spontaneously, make mistakes and try things without overthinking every outcome. Most of the time, the people you’re worried about judging you are too focused on themselves to notice. I can’t speak for everyone, but I’ve realised the greatest experiences in high school come from doing the things that make you uncomfortable at first.

PS: That moment you overthought for 3 days? Everyone else forgot it in 3 seconds.

It’s normal to outgrow people.

Just like you outgrow old clothes or things you used to like, you will inevitably outgrow friendships, too. I wish I could tell my freshman self that you aren’t forced to stay friends with anyone, no matter how long you’ve known them. As you grow up and learn more about yourself, it’s important to find people who encourage you rather than hold you back.

Find friends who make you feel good about yourself, because the last thing you need in your teenage years is someone who brings you down. It’s also important to learn how to say no, and I’m still figuring that out even now. You shouldn’t always have to be the one to reach out just to keep a friendship alive, or feel like you’re bothering someone for wanting to talk.

You shouldn’t have to hold back your personality out of fear of how someone will react, or overthink everything you say before you say it. And you definitely shouldn’t feel like you need to change who you are just to be accepted by your friends. Outgrowing friendships is natural, and being the person to lead that process doesn’t make you a bad person.

PS: It’s okay to change your mind and leave things behind. You deserve that.

You don’t need to document every moment.

Have you ever stalked someone’s Instagram who just seems to have it all together? Parties every weekend, the perfect friend group and the most aesthetic social media feed? It’s hard not to feel like you’re missing out or not doing enough when everything you see looks so perfectly curated.

But the truth is, it’s less real than it looks. Living in the moment has slowly become less of a value the second phones became part of everything we do. Social media is filled with picture-perfect snapshots that don’t actually tell you what the experience felt like—just what it looked like for three seconds in good lighting.

And when you’re constantly seeing that, it’s easy to start thinking your own life has to be documented to count. But not every good moment needs to be posted. Some of the best parts of high school are the ones that you are too busy having fun to document. Just because you see other people posting weekend photo dumps and Instagram stories doesn’t mean you need to turn every experience into content.

Sometimes it’s enough that it happened to you, without needing to show anyone else it did.

PS: The best moments won’t fit into a post anyway.

Your first two years set the tone.

Have you ever heard that your freshman and sophomore year grades “don’t count?” Even if there’s some truth to that, the mindset behind it can be misleading, and those years matter more than you think. You’re not expected to have everything figured out yet, but it is the best time to start noticing how things actually work.

Build a rhythm. Figure out how to manage your time. Pay attention to the habits you’re forming, because they don’t magically change overnight when things get harder later on. If nothing changes early, it’s unrealistic to expect a sudden transformation junior and senior year.

Get involved in clubs and activities you can actually see yourself sticking with. Don’t treat being an underclassman like it’s a free pass to slack off—those years count just as much toward your future habits and mindset. High school is four years, and each one plays a part in shaping how you move through the rest of it.

Do your homework, show up on time, and put in the kind of effort you’d want to rely on later when things really do get busy.

PS: Don’t overload yourself—you’ll have plenty of that waiting for you in AP classes anyway.

You don’t need to turn everything into something.

High school can make you feel like everything you do has to lead you somewhere. Whether its participating in something just because it looks “good” to others, or feeling like every decision has to be intentional, it’s easy to start treating your time like it only matters if it’s productive. The truth is, not everything has to be building toward something bigger.

You are never behind or less than others for wanting to experience something just for the fun of it. Experiences don’t have to be strategic, impressive or tied to some bigger plan. Sometimes the point is just that it filled your time, made you smile or gave you something to talk about.

Join clubs just for fun, take electives that seem interesting and try out for something even if you think you’re not good enough. Chances are, you will gain something from that experience even if it wasn’t always a part of the plan. You may feel like everyone around you is constantly working toward something bigger, but you are too, even in moments when it doesn’t look or feel like it.

So many of my favorite memories came from being spontaneous and saying yes to new opportunities. Everything will fall into place as it’s meant to be, so find a balance and never limit yourself. Nothing is pointless if you’re having fun, and not every experience needs to prove something or lead somewhere bigger to matter.

PS: Take that culinary class, even if you don’t plan to become a chef.

So there’s my two-cents. If there is one thing I learned from all of this, it’s that high school feels a lot bigger while you’re in it than it actually is when you look back. The things that once felt like everything—friend groups, grades, opinions, plans—don’t end up meaning the same thing later on.

That doesn’t mean they didn’t matter, but they definitely weren’t the whole story. High school is about finding yourself and what matters to you. It’s okay to be imperfect, it’s okay to change your mind and it’s okay if you’re not the same person by the end of it as you were when you started.

In all honesty, I’m still figuring some of it out too—so maybe check back with me in four years.