Kanyescope 3/14


Sherwin Thomas, Copy Editor

Hey there Mustangs, it’s Wednesday, and that means that it’s time for your weekly horoscopes. This week I sought some help from the music industry icon Kanye West for inspiration. Enjoy:

Aries: “One of my biggest Achilles heels has been my ego. And if I, Kanye West, can remove my ego, I think there’s hope for everyone.”

Taurus: “I hate when I’m on a flight and I wake up with a water bottle next to me. Like, oh great, now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle.”

Gemini: “I feel like I’m too busy writing history to read it.”

Cancer: “Yo Taylor, I’m really happy for you. I’ll let you finish, but Beyoncé has one of the best videos of all time. One of the best videos of all time.”

Leo: “If I don’t win, the awards show loses credibility.”

Virgo: “The media tries to dehumanize people who believe in themselves.”

Libra: “Just imagine if I woke up one day and I was wack. What would I do then?”

Scorpio: “I don’t even listen to rap. My apartment is too nice to listen to rap in.”

Sagittarius: “[I am] 50 percent more influential than any other human being.”

Capricorn: “Look at the drive that people have …  to pick up a girl. If you can focus the energy into something valuable, put that into work ethic.”

Aquarius: “We are going to teach our kids that they can be something. We’re going to teach our kids that they can stand up for themselves. We’re going to teach our kids to believe in themselves.”

Pisces: “As you probably could have guessed by this moment, I have decided in 2020 to run for president.”