Two siblings two years apart could grow up to be best friends. They could share clothing, hobbies, secrets and anything else they wanted to. It could be easy for them. However, it’s not always as easy for siblings eight years apart to have this type of relationship.

Children who are significantly younger or older than the rest of their siblings can grow up to feel out of touch. Whether that be due to not being old enough to relate to what their big sister is feeling, or not being able to understand what their younger brother is talking about. These disconnects can cause children to have weakened bonds with their family members.

In some instances, the oldest siblings in families feel that they are the ones taking on parental responsibilities when their parents are working or just not around. This puts pressure on the eldest children to help out with their younger siblings. Senior Nate Casey helps his parents take care of his younger siblings when they are away as the eldest brother in his family.

“My mom is always at work, and I guess after taking care of one or two of us, which is me and my sister, that we would be good enough to take care of the smaller two,” Casey said. “Every day we take care of the younger two, and especially when she’s at work we watch them.”

While some eldest siblings feel parental pressure to help out, some worry they’ll eventually lose touch with their younger family members. Senior Ensara Sejko has three younger siblings, the youngest of whom is 17 years younger than her, and she hopes to continue to be present in their lives as they get older.

“My parents will for sure see [my siblings] their whole lives, but as I grow up, I feel like I might lose touch with them, not in terms of parenting and responsibilities but in terms of connecting with them and having close relationships,” Sejko said.

Being the youngest sibling in a family gives children the ability to witness stages of life before they experience it themselves. This ranges from relationships to high school to growing up and moving out. English teacher Daniel Maas has three older siblings that influenced different parts of his life as a child.

“There was a lot of conflict between [my oldest brother] and my parents, and I witnessed what it meant for families to argue… I learned from his example what to do and what not to do regarding how to talk to my parents. I watched [my closest sister] navigate relationships… I got to see the various types of relationships she navigated,” Maas said.

Growing up with a sibling significantly older gives a child another role model to look up to. A younger sibling can offer different perspectives on life than parents could. Senior Ashley James had looked up to her older brother since she was little.

“Ever since I was a little [kid], he’s always been like another parental figure, but obviously more lenient than my actual parents. When we were [home] and my parents would be at work, he would always be the one taking care of me,” James said. “I definitely look up to him; he’s just a really kind person in general and very talented, so I wish to also possess those attributes.”

Having older siblings as a kid that help take care of you creates a secondary parent-child dynamic. The older you get, the easier it will be for you to relate to them. Social studies teacher Tracy Culcasi grew stronger bonds with her older sisters the older she became.

“When I was younger, [our relationship] was different because my older siblings would babysit me and take care of me, so it was a different relationship. The siblings that are closer to my age were more of a sibling relationship where you play with each other and that kind of thing. As I became an adult, I grew closer to my older siblings… we’ve grown much closer as adults because we choose to spend more time together,” Culcasi said.

As stated in a thesis by Karen Foote, a graduate at the University of Montana, whether your siblings are close in age or far, family structure is the primary agent of socialization. From childhood, your siblings factor in your development in all areas, and are the ones who help you develop as people.