With pen in hand, I glanced around the room nervously to examine my other classmates. They all whipped through the annual “get to know me” document provided in seconds; they had answered these questions millions of times before. For the large majority of my classmates, there was no question or struggle when asked about their identities.

My identity has never been as easy and sure as my peers; I’ve questioned it since the first time I even learned what the word “non-binary” meant. I had pretty unmonitored internet access as a kid–a topic for another article–so I was able to explore what being non-binary meant rather easily. The internet couldn’t teach me everything, but it did show me that I wasn’t the only one waking up every morning feeling like I didn’t belong in my body; it also showed me the dark truths and struggles people like me face in life.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, gender minority students have significantly higher rates of depression, suicidal ideation, and suicide attempts compared to cisgender students. The constant disregard for non-binary identities, while often occuring as mistakes, is truly dissapointing for such a welcoming community such as DGS.

While some of my classes have been incorporating pronoun sharing into their first day icebreakers, many don’t even bother to allow the space for students to share. This is extremely harmful for many, including myself; As someone whose appearance presents itself as more traditionally feminine, I am automatically assumed to be completely female. Without the space to share and clarify my identity, I am misgendered for the rest of the year

Because of this, I still feel like I have to pick and choose the safest places and people to “come out” to. Often, when I do make the terrifying decisions to share my true self in class to my peers and teachers, I am completely disregarded. Even with the growing acceptance of diversity at DGS, my simple pronoun requests are ignored.

There are many arguments brought up in response to the slow acceptance of pronoun sharing. Individuals claim that most students don’t care, or that there is more discomfort in sharing than not.

In my opinion, this is a circumstance where the majority does not rule. Cisgender individuals, those who identify with the gender they were assigned at birth, have never expereinced the discomfort that comes with misgendering and gender shaming. They have the luxury of not caring.

By allowing adults such as teachers to use the excuse of “most students don’t care,” they are automatically invalidating the experiences of students who do. It should be standard for teachers to give students the opportunity to share their pronouns at the start of the year; simply providing a chance to share will not cause discomfort for any party.

I don’t argue this just for myself and other non-binary students; Transgender indviduals have been fighting this battle just as long as we have. Why should DGS, a community founded on diversity and acceptance, be allowed to exclude us so easily? Why has no one noticed our struggles?

I want to clarify that I know not all teachers are like this. I have encountered many amazing adults in my career at DGS who have welcomed my identity with open arms. But this shouldn’t be a matter of some- respect for pronouns and identity should be a basic expectation across the board for all teachers at DGS.

Any student should be allowed to take pride and feel safe expressing their true identity at school. I urge students and staff across DGS to do better and give others the opportunity to share their identities and pride as well.