Love is in the air, and students are cementing their Valentine’s Day plans. As an unofficial certified trainer in the sport of love, I will be telling you the do’s and absolutely do not’s of asking someone to be your boo!

Asking someone out can certainly be nerve-wracking. However, there are certain steps you can take to ensure that you aren’t utterly humiliated–regardless of the answer. Here are some ways– not–to ask someone to be your valentine.

1. Over text.
Asking someone out over text or social media will always be a no-go. Not only is it more respectful to ask in person, but you can also foster a real reaction that you can’t get over text. So while it is the easier option for you, a no is a no regardless of if it’s to your face.

If you can, show someone you care enough to have that conversation face to face, or at the very least, on Facetime.

2. Not knowing the person.
Whether you’re asking someone to be your partner, or you’re just checking the “busy” box off on your calendar for February 14th, know the person you’re asking. Figuring out their favorite way of receiving affection will make sure to leave you both comfortable. If they don’t like surprises or big gestures, try not to bring them a huge bear and flowers that say some corny one-liner in front of their friends and family.

If you want it to be a genuine surprise (because you know they like surprises, of course), you can also ask their friends or people close to them that you trust to keep a secret the best way to ask, and even incorporate them in fun ways. A statement is great, but feeling seen by the person you like is even better.

3. Not considering asking ahead.
This applies more for those unsure if their person likes them back. Try asking them in a more low-key setting, while still showing that you put thought and care into your question. That way you can ensure that you’re on the same page before making any grand gestures.

After all, being put on the spot can in some situations make it difficult for someone to decline without feeling bad or obligated to say yes. A pre-approved “no” is always better than a forced “yes.”

4. Being vague

One of the worst things you can do is confuse someone by asking vaguely or in a joking matter. You can’t expect a person to be vulnerable with you when you’re not being vulnerable yourself. Framing the question with the excuse of a joke as a cover-up is nothing short of childish overall. It doesn’t sting any less, by the way.

5. Asking more than once.

If someone tells you no, take it in stride and move on. While some people like persistence, others find it uncomfortable or pushy. You have to judge based on circumstance, but if you aren’t totally sure that your person in question enjoys a chase, shut it down.

Regardless of that though, I’d let it go anyway. Why would you want to go with a person who rejected you in the first place?

Remember that rejection is just redirection. There’s nothing wrong with someone telling you no. Rejection could be the stepping stone to something great in the future.

Make sure you’re being wholeheartedly honest and considerate with the person you’re asking, and you’re more likely to foster acceptable results. Happy love season!