“Men shouldn’t show emotion,” “Man up and be strong.” These are some of the common phrases I and many others have heard when struggling with mental health. The “ideal” man is one who plays a sport, works, is tough and most importantly doesn’t show emotion whatsoever. But the truth is, men struggle with mental health just as any other person does.

About six million men suffer from depression and many other struggles like anxiety and bipolar disorder. But doctors are aware that men are much less likely than women to seek the needed help. Why? Toxic masculinity.

You may be asking yourself, what is toxic masculinity? Well, toxic masculinity looks different for every man, but the common theme is that men are portrayed to be manly, strong, and emotionless. From personal experience, seeking mental health help is deemed to be a cowardly move, something that a man should just ignore and suck it up. But many people (including myself) can’t just suck it up.

The first time I talked to someone about mental health struggles was awkward, but this feeling was implanted inside my head by our society. The toxic idea that men had to be strong and men should not show emotion had bombarded my thoughts; even the huge part of me that needed to talk to someone about my struggles.

“Why can’t I just talk freely about my struggles without being called girly or getting weird looks?” I thought to myself.

Some people might say that toxic masculinity does not affect anyone’s mental health, that it is easy to seek help with no issues or second thoughts. Statistics show that men are much less likely to seek help when needed, but these statistics become real when we hear people calling each other names or saying mean things when someone openly discusses their mental health struggles. An old friend of mine told me to “man up” when I first told them about being anxious, this is just one of the many times something similar has happened.

I hope that in the future, we all work together to get rid of these ideas and stereotypes of how men should behave and act that end up seriously harming an entire group. To all of you reading, remember to not “suck it up,” the manliest thing one can do is seek the help needed for the bettering of yourself and those around you. You are not alone.