Since the first time I stepped into the studio, I recognized the reflection looking back at me as my worst enemy. A mirror, which is typically a tool to understand positioning and formations in dances, turns into a toxic relationship quickly. From correcting technique, down to how your body looks, how can you argue against the reflection that is staring back at you?

Dance is not just a physical battle but is a mental one as well. Demanding on memory and cognitive skills, it challenges you as a dancer to be trained to notice the tiniest of details in order to improve and be successful. This critical lens has become helpful in numerous aspects of my life, but has also greatly impacted how I view myself.

I have only begun seeing the mirror as a friend recently. I did not believe myself to be a strong hip-hop dancer and have felt uncomfortable in class, just trying to get by, fighting against what I saw in the mirror. But something happened that had me confused.

The teacher had called me out to do the combo by myself for the class and had it filmed. I was in complete shock because I had spent the last forty five minutes and years before this class believing I was not good enough. When I finished dancing, a wave of pride and excitement rushed over me for something as simple as an in-class shout out.

I was reminded that I can’t only rely on what my eyes see, but I also trust and lead with my heart. After this moment, my confidence grew, and I began looking forward to class every week because of my excitement to learn, and feeling comfort in believing in myself. I still have lots to fix and areas of weakness, but I also know that does not make up for all of me as a dancer.

This fight with a mirror isn’t just happening in a studio, but in schools, work establishments, family and friend gatherings and more. We often judge or minimize ourselves before celebrating. But when does humility become self-deprecation?

I have come to learn that how you view and respect yourself directly alters your relationships and treatment of others. Learning to give yourself grace and trusting the uniqueness within you instead of constant comparison results in a happier and more confident you. Yes, easier said than done, but creating more peace in your head allows you to focus and excel at the things that matter most.

So while I may always find things to fix in the mirror, I know that what I am seeing does not define me. Everything and everyone is moving in a constant evolution, and there can be comfort found in that. Don’t focus too much on the bad you see reflecting back because you will miss all of the good that has been shining through this entire time.