Bowling through grief

Within months of McCoy’s grandfather’s passing, DGS’s own bowling coach John Ryan passed away of a similar form of cancer, which solidified her decision to participate in her third and last year on the DGS Girls’ Bowling team.

“That was a tough one because I think she was so tied in with her grandfather’s grief and Coach Ryan came as very much of a surprise to all of us, myself included. And having to tell her, having to tell all the girls on the team was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do,” Head bowling Coach Bob Topor said. “When you lose somebody the first time, it’s hard and now the second time, somebody who’s close [dies], and Coach Ryan was almost like another father figure to all of the girls, somebody you look up to and respect and admire, and so it’s very hard for her.”

Bowling teammate and senior Ashley Stephenson has been McCoy’s friend for two years. Stephenson is one of many girls on the team who were impacted by the death of Ryan.

“I think we all learned how to like not to take things for granted. You really don’t know what’s going to go on and I think she’s living proof that you can’t, and then I think she’s definitely very aware of herself and her emotions,” Stephenson said. “I’m really proud of her. I know it’s hard with Papa and with Coach and then college and everything that she has going on but I am really proud of her. She’s done a lot. She got dealt a hand of bad cards this year and she’s dealing with it really well.”

Although McCoy’s injuries have limited her abilities, bowling was the only sport she was able to tolerate the pain.

“[Bowling] has actually helped my back a little bit but it’s also hasn’t helped because my ribs move when I go to throw my ball and my ribs pop out of place but joining that team kind of gave me a little bit of hope because I felt so weak. Because I went from one hundred to zero. So joining bowling has helped me emotionally to say ‘OK. I’m not just a body sitting there,’” McCoy said.

Topor believes McCoy’s frustrations with injuries and loss of physical activity are another form of grief.

“I think it’s like the double whammy of grief and loss of loved ones and loss of your body so to speak. She’s suffered from a lot of physical injuries, some that are very traumatic and some that are just kind of recurring type things … and so I think it’s hard to deal with that on top of other things that are bad. But I think she definitely leans on the people here at South and on the team to help her through those things,” Topor said.