Experiencing the death of a family member

Five months after her grandfather was diagnosed with stage four brain cancer, McCoy drove to the airport with her family at 9 p.m. on a Sunday night and flew to Washington. As they drove, McCoy emailed her teachers, letting them know she didn’t know when she would be back; three weeks later, she returned with one less family member.

“We kind of all knew it was coming. With him living in Washington, it was a little difficult on my mom. I could see how it affected my mom because she’s the oldest on that side, and it’s her dad. So I basically told all my teachers it could happen any minute now. … We had an emergency bag packed,” McCoy said. “I just miss him, and I miss talking to him and … I really connected with him the last like two years of his life, and that’s what hits me the most.”

Sunday, March 17, 2019, marked the one-year anniversary of his death.

Over the last year, McCoy’s nine-year-old sister McKenna McCoy has noticed the extra responsibility Bailey McCoy has taken for the family.

“I love that she loves me no matter what. … [When grandpa died] she was just crying with my mom. I think it’s been hard for her because she knows that she has to take care of me too but also herself,” McKenna McCoy said.

Not only has she “taken care of” her younger sister, according to Bailey McCoy’s mother Megan McCoy, Bailey McCoy has also been a source of support for her as well.

“She’s a second mom for McKenna [McCoy’s sister] whether she wanted to be or not. From the minute McKenna was born, that’s a role she kind of took over. She’s definitely a support for me. … Just watching her grow up and now getting ready to leave and grow into her own person without my guidance every single day, I think she’s helped me be stronger and be a more independent woman and practice what I preach,” Megan McCoy said. “I can depend on her to help, especially through the last year, to keep things going and moving forward.”

Although a year has passed, Bailey McCoy continues to feel her grandfather’s presence.

“Every now and then I get like a Facebook memory or something, and it’ll be me and my grandpa together or me talking to my grandpa, but I mean on a day-to-day basis I talk to him every day even though I know he can’t talk back. I see certain things and certain signs and stuff, and I know it’s him. … I am still [grieving]. It never goes away,” McCoy said.